17 September 2011

It’s so easy to forget what you yourself have achieved when you’re concentrating on other peoples achievements. This is one thing I am really bad at doing to myself; I can destroy my own self-confidence very easily. I put my heart into my work one hundred percent and can love a photo shoot but within a week I will be telling myself it’s no good, picking holes in everything. I will tell myself I should be trying harder with my career when in fact I don't think there is anything else more I can do with my time, but when you exhaust every angle you can think of and things still aren't going your way its very easy to feel hopeless. I think a person can belittle their own dreams worse than anyone else.
I wanted to write this because I think it applies to so many industries, but especially creative ones, as there is no right or wrong, it’s all subjective, and it’s so personal when it is your own creation. One little negative comment can ruin all the nice ones. Perhaps it’s that constant thought of not trying hard enough which pushes me to go further?

I have experienced this, not only with myself but with my boyfriend Philip; he is a 3D/CGI artist, and has done amazing pieces of work but of course like my industry, its a tough market with plenty of competition. I find myself telling him things I know I should be telling myself but I am unable to take my own advice 'Don't concentrate on what others are doing, the important thing is what you have achieved so far and that you love the work you do, you can't compare yourself to someone else in a totally different situation to you'.
I would like to say its not about the competition and the working industry and that I do photography because I love it and that should be enough; I really want that to be the case, for me to look at my own work and feel 'yes this is me, this is what I do' rather than striving for unobtainable perfection, forever seeking the problems in your work and not really realising the importance of feeling content with life.
I think it’s so important to remind yourself that you are doing it because you love it and it drives you and look at where you have come from in the past few years. So I try to remind myself of this on a regular basis because I think it’s a vital thing to keep your mind in a positive place. The thing to remember is this - this is about you and your work and no one else, as long as your happy with your life then that's the most important thing.