12 September 2011

There used to be two things in life that could truly scare me; religion and the universe, it was a fear of the unknown and things I didn't understand. In my life I had had times when I didn't consider myself religious but believed something might be out there, other times I didn't. The idea of being 'good or evil' was what made me always question religion; I felt life is just not that black and white. However, a crazy Christian would come on TV once in a while and tell everyone we were all going to burn for eternity and suddenly I was disturbed again. The idea of the universe used to scare me even more; some nights I would look up at the sky so full of stars and think how can something just keep going on forever or the alternative that the universe just stops somewhere and ceases to exist, both thoughts eluded me.
One day my mother told me to watch the 'Brian Cox - Wonders of the Universe' series, so I did and suddenly everything was clear, I was no longer distressed about life, death and the universe; science made it all fit together in a way that is so complicated yet so straightforward and that peace of mind has remained with me ever since. The whole subject was something I had such a genuine fear of and now I don't need to be told that I'm going somewhere after I die. I feel relaxed and enjoy knowing that my body is made of atoms that will break down but remain as long as the universe does.